ASK the Counselor . . .

More Questions and Answers

A. Gene Veal, Senior Counselor

Answer from the Scriptures:  
No, you can't get rid of anything that holds you, though you want to and God has told you that it is to go.

That is how you learn that you are no longer Terry trying to obey God. You are the living Christ in you, Christ in your Terry-form.  That does not mean that you become Christ or Christ becomes you.  He will express Himself through your personality.  He in you is well able to overcome what seems to have its hold on you.  "Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might."  Eph. 6:10

How do you know that - because of the one simple fact that you have believed God.  And what does that believing consist of? The fact that in your need as a lost sinner, you accepted as true what you read in the Scriptures of Christ dying in your place and rising, and now giving you eternal life.

You inwardly accepted that fact in your heart and you made some kind of open confession (That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. Rom. 10:9), and it resulted in the Spirit of God in you, confirming to you that Jesus is now your Saviour and God your Father, and you accordingly rejoice and live in that inner reality. Is not that so? I take it to be so.

And so now you walk on by no other means than "by faith." You began by believing, and you go on the same way. "As you have received the Lord Jesus, so walk in Him" (Col. 2:6). Therefore your only obedience is not of struggling and trying, but the "obedience of faith" (Rom. 16:26).

And what does that mean in your present "problem"? (Which is only a problem because you believe falsely in the power of the thing over you instead of believing in HIM who is the only power "the power of God" as He is called in I Corinthians 1:24) It means that you say plainly to God that you cannot get rid of the thing He tells you to get rid of, and you won't try!

He, in infinite grace and love, has taken you over and is living His life in you. (I hope Galatians 2:20 is where you are living! I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.)

So you say to Him, "You only, Lord, deliver me from this thing I can't give up, and I will go on doing it till you deliver me. But I declare now in definite faith, and speak that truth, that you have delivered me from this thing and I shall experience that deliverance."

You say what Paul said in 11 Corinthians 1:9-10 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.

So you have it clear. You do not deliver yourself, or try to, because you cannot and that is just why God has put you in this helpless position. He wants you to know that you can do nothing apart from Him. But you are delivered by faith -that true obedience, not of works, or many prayers, or what not.  You are delivered by believing what He has said in the Scriptures and it is now inwardly confirmed to you by the living Word within you. Now you speak the truth of that to yourself or to others; and keep saying it while He in His own way and time gives the deliverance.

(FOR MORE ABOUT THIS, GO TO WALK IN THE SPIRIT AND SCROLL DOWN TO "AVOID SELF-IMPROVEMENT.") 

Question for the Counselor: "Are you telling me that I cannot improve?"

Answer from the Scriptures:  No, you can improve, but not in merit.  I do believe that a Christian can improve, not in merit, but in knowledge, i.e. intimate, experiential relationship knowledge of the indwelling Christ.  As we study the Word of God and see what the Word tells us about Him and about who we are in Him, by grace through faith we come progressively to maturity in Him, not in personal worthiness, but in a knowing relationship with Him.

The primary thing is as Paul says, “to know Him.”  This knowledge becomes our experience by faith.  Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe (have faith) that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him (not merit).”  1John 3:22 “and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight.  23 This is His commandment, that we believe in the name (or have faith in Who He is) of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as He commanded us.” Relationship growth is not only possible but is predestined.  Romans 8 29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son- “To know Him is eternal life” or a quality of life that I could have in no other way but by “knowing” Him.

Of course, we keep His commandments because He said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.”  This is accomplished through “being strong in the Lord and the power of His might.”  Whatever we do or accomplish is His accomplishment in us.  1Corinthians 15:10 – “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God with me.”  

John even says, “The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.”  That is the “how” of keeping His commandments, faith.  1John 5:2  By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.   4 For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith.  In Romans, Paul refers to our obedience as the “obedience of faith.”  As Paul told the Corinthians “because it is by faith you stand firm.” And “We live by faith, not by sight.”

Whatever we “need” in our Christian walk, He is that in us.  If I “need more” love, He is going to be that love in me by the Holy Spirit.  There really is no deficiency of love, just deficiency of “knowing.”  The better I know Him, the more I will in relationship with Him express that love that He is in me by faith in what I have come to know is true.  Peter commends us to grow, not in merit, but in knowledge (relationship knowledge).  1Peter 3:18 “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”  If I “grow in grace” (unmerited favor), I am growing in my realization of my unworthiness.  If I grow in knowledge of Him, I learn He in me has all the love I need.   Romans 5:5 “because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”    If I try to have a natural love, the best I can do is love a worthy object.  Romans 5: 7 “Now it is an extraordinary thing for one to give his life even for an upright man, though perhaps for a noble and lovable and generous benefactor someone might even dare to die.”  That is as much as natural love can achieve.  Natural love must have a worthy object.  God's love is the next verse - "But God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. " So Paul says, in Galatians 5:6 The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. And “everything that does not come from faith is sin.”

The wilderness wandering of the children of God is depicted in Hebrews 3 and 4.  They did not enter into the “rest” that they were offered because of their “unbelief” or lack of faith.  He says there remains a rest for the people of God and that we are to “labor” (struggle), not to get better at doing, but to “rest” from our sweaty efforts in the strength of the flesh and rely on the power of His might.

For 25 years I tried to serve by merit.  If you had asked me, I would have denied it, but experiencing a terrible “fall”, I discovered that I was actually a Pharisee for all those years.  I didn’t know I was until by my fall I thought I didn’t deserve to live, as if I ever had deserved to live.  Then I knew.

I had read all the Puritan books and “Alarm to the Unconverted.” I read and preached the sermons of condemnation and the call to “try harder.”  I hurt a lot of people by setting them up to fail, as any one has to fail who is “trying to DO better” in the flesh.  I thought the more I could know intellectually the better Christian I would be, but I think Father was showing me the truth “so that our faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.”  As Paul said, Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our area of activity among you will greatly expand.”  The doing comes on the heels of believing.

The next 25 years became for me an opportunity to learn, experience and teach the faith-rest of the “easy yoke” and the “burden that is light.”  In the wake of the first 25 years there were “bodies” lying all around.  In the wake of the next 25 years I see people serving God in a freeness and a joy that is indescribable.  Addictive personalities are no longer addicted.  Abusive people stopped being abusive.  Immoral Christians stopped being immoral.  Alcoholics are now missionaries on the foreign field.  Church dropouts are now active leaders in their churches.  People who knew nothing but failure are now living a life of joy, peace, and successful witness for Christ.

I tell you, I am hooked.  This is the most blessed ministry I have ever known and I will by the grace of God never stop as long as He gives me breath.  Can I say it better?  I have no doubt that someone else could say it better than I (perhaps my clients, the very ones that I have been referring to in this writing.)  I do apologize for my poor ability, but I will not apologize for what I believe to be the truth of CHRIST IN US.  As I tell my clients, I will keep working by His grace and His power so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.  Ephesians 4:13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”

Question for the Counselor:  “My father is living with a woman and they are not married.  What should I do?”

Answer from the Scriptures:  
It is a very difficult experience when someone you love is living in sin.  You want to help that person but that person seems to pay you no mind or promises to do something about the problem, and then never seems to follow through.

First, let us define the ones to whom we are NOT referring.  What we are about to say does not apply to husbands and wives, nor does it apply to minor children.  The Scriptures address the relationship with your spouse in a different manner.  Of course, when applied to minor children the Scriptures address this in connection with the parents’ responsibility to the child.

Now, we have to make another distinction:  DOES THIS PERSON “SAY” THEY ARE A CHRISTIAN?  (Of course, we realize that “saying it” and “being” a Christian can be two different things, but there is a certain advantage if they claim to be a Christian.  We will discuss that later.)  The Scriptures are clear as to what we are to do in regard to both the Christian and the non-Christian.  For this reason we will give our answer in two parts.

PART ONE:
Let’s look at what the Scriptures say about this if your loved one is an adult (but not your spouse) and does NOT claim to be a Christian.  Let’s look at how Jesus dealt with this relationship when He addressed others about their family members and when He spoke of His own family members. 

Remember when a man who wanted to postpone his commitment to Jesus because his ailing father was about to die?  The man wanted to go back and take care of his father and arrange for his funeral.  Read the response Jesus gave him In Luke 9:59-60: 
And he said unto another, “Follow me.”  But he said, “Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.”  Jesus said unto him, “Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.”  

Consider these very strong words of our LORD from Matthew 10:
32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.
33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

Also, remember what Jesus said when they attempted to divert Him from His ministry by telling Him that His family was asking for Him.  His reply is astonishing when compared to the exaggerated ideas people have about their “responsibility” to their loved ones.

While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.  Then one said unto him, “Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.”  But he answered and said unto him that told him,  “Who is my mother? And who are my brethren?”  And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, “Behold my mother and my brethren!  For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.”  Mat. 12:46-50 (KJV) 

His mother was a believer, but at the time His brothers weren’t.  His mother continues to be “family” to Him as a believer, but His brothers were not.  From what Jesus said, it is pretty clear that our TRUE FAMILY is the Body of Christ, the Church.  We are not to be “unequally yoked with unbelievers” even if they are members of our earthly family.  There will always be a distinction of difference and a separation from the lifestyles of unbelievers, even if they are members of our earthly family.

So, if your loved one does not claim to be a Christian and they are doing some terrible things in their life, you must let them be.  They must make their own choices.  If they will allow you to tell them of Christ and they want to hear the gospel, by all means you will want to give them the truth of God’s Word; however, if they are not interested in listening to you, let them go.  Love them by praying for them every day of your life.  Live before them the life of a Christian, but do not attack them for what they are doing.  Until they know Christ, what else can they do?

PART TWO:
If your loved one “claims” to be a Christian, but is choosing to violate the Word of God in ungodliness, the Scriptures are quite clear about your course of action.  If they claim to be a Christian, then you actually have a very strong approach to them: THE SCRIPTURES.  If they do not claim to be a Christian they will have no interest in the Scriptures and you will have very little to say that they will accept as authoritative. (Example: if we were playing a word game and I said that “zbdrk” was a word, how would we establish that I was wrong unless we had agreed on the authority that would make that discrimination, i.e. the dictionary?)

Here is what God’s Word says you are to do in Mat. 18:15-17:
“Moreover if thy brother (This is speaking of him as a Christian, even if he is your father in the flesh, he is your brother in the Spirit.) shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”

If he will not listen to you, you are to treat him as you would if he were someone to be avoided.  This is not to punish him, it is to bring him to his senses when he sees the loss his actions have brought about.  His grief over the lost fellowship should move his heart to repentance. 

Note what Paul says in 1Cor. 5:
1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father's wife.
2 And you are proud! Shouldn't you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?
3 Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present.
4 When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present,
5 hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.
6 Your boasting is not good. Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?
7 Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast-- as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.
8 Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.
9 I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people--
10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.
11 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.
12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?
13 God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."  (NIV)

So, if your Father DOES NOT CLAIM to be a Christian, you probably would only create a wall between yourselves if you deal with him about his sinfulness.  Unless he is willing to hear the gospel and receive Christ there is no hope for him to overcome his fleshly desires.  Even a Christian cannot overcome the flesh except in the Spirit.  (See Galatians 5:16-17; Romans 7 and 8)

On the other hand, if he DOES CLAIM to be a Christian and will not listen to your rebuke and call for repentance, you must withdraw from him and not even “eat with him.”  This is for his good and the good of the Name of Christ.

Question for the Counselor:
I am a Christian, but I find myself battling negative thoughts in my mind. Much of my thinking is obsessive. How can I stop this?

Answer from the Scriptures:  
Probably you've heard this story before? A journalist went to the U.S. mint and interviewed the guy in charge of catching counterfeiters. He opened the interview by saying, "I guess you spend a lot of time scrutinizing all sorts of counterfeits to learn to detect them?" The expert's reply was, "No, I don't look at counterfeit money at all. I spend all my time studying the real thing. Then when something that isn't real comes along, I can immediately spot the difference." 

Knowing God’s Truth is the ONLY way to know when our thoughts are wrong. Recognition of false thinking doesn't come from self analysis. If we spend our time studying His Word; His Truth; then we will be able to recognize what does not agree with what He has shown us there. The better we know HIM, the better we are able to see ourselves as He sees us.

The simplest way I know to say this is: 
Focus on Who He is. Learn all He tells you about Himself: how He is attending to you,  how He is working in you, how He is proving His Presence to you. If you will keep you mind set on Him, not on yourself (not on changing yourself, improving yourself, punishing yourself, healing yourself, protecting yourself, defending yourself, explaining yourself, accusing yourself, finding yourself...you get the idea) then you will become more and more aware of how He, in you, is making each breath possible, each step, each word available in due season. You will learn to walk in the Spirit. You will discover who you are in Christ.

In counseling, (as in everything), our focus is to be Christ. If the subject of what we are studying is ourselves, it is not worth the effort. Apart from Him, we are unspeakably selfish and our thinking is utterly futile.

One verse I think sums up what I am saying is, 2 Corinthians 10:5 We destroy arguments and every proud obstacle to the KNOWLEDGE OF GOD, and take every THOUGHT captive to obey CHRIST...

Does that verse remind you of the arguments that you have ongoing in your mind? Being MINDFUL of CHRIST keeps our minds preoccupied by His perspective on whatever matters in the eternal scheme.

You ask, "How long will I have to battle these kinds of contrary thoughts?"

This depends on whether you mean battling against your flesh, or specifically against obsessive thoughts. If you mean how long will you have to battle your flesh, then the answer is - as long as you are in this unglorified body. If you mean how long will you have trouble with obsessive thinking, I think the end is in sight. I think that since the LORD has brought this to the forefront (as it seems He has) for you to face and begin to deal with, it is just a matter of how long it will take to accomplish the renewing of your mind; only God knows that, but it will be done in His timing and in His way which will be for your good.  He isn't going to waste your time. What you will learn about realigning your thinking with His Word will be more than worth the effort. You don't really want a quick fix for this; you want to being to have His Mind; His perspective, and that is going to come about by washing your mind with His Word daily. Once a week doesn't do it. You have to ingest large portions of His Word to displace the lifetime accumulation of wrong ideas and cognitive bad habits.

You see there is a pattern.  You said, "I know this pattern of self-destructive thinking is just a wrong pattern my fleshly brain has latched onto."

Rather than focusing on the warfare going on in the spiritual dimension, God tells us we are to focus our thoughts on Him. We are to look for Him in everything we are going through. Don't look for or cower from the evil in your environment, but rather keep your concentration on His Presence and His Sovereignty. I hardly consider the evil potential in things anymore. I used to go cautiously scanning vigilantly for evil  everywhere I went. Being guarded and anxious is the opposite of walking in the Spirit. We are not to try to anticipate trouble. We are to press on with our assigned course for this day; God has already equipped us for the rigors ahead. You have what you need to proceed. But, He has not advanced you provisions for tomorrow.

“How can a Christian have such obsessive thoughts?”

We do not know the extent of our human depravity, except in a theoretical sense. We know we are sinners. Serious sinners. If we weren't, Jesus would not have had to go through what He did in our place, as our substitute. If our sins were less hideous, we would be able to atone for them ourselves. There are so many people attempting to do just that: to make up for their sins so as to come to God by their efforts, on the basis of merit, thinking they can earn His forgiveness. That is NOT the gospel.

No amount of effort can atone for our sins. We cannot begin to make up for them. None of us. Remember that the parable about the man who owed the huge debt, which he could never repay in his lifetime, or in several lifetimes, was to show us the impossibility of ever atoning for our sins.

One of the reasons we obsess in our thinking is because we keep constantly monitoring our thoughts to see what evil lurks within us. David said, “see if there be any crooked way in me.” That is the right way to pray. Let God do the heart monitoring. Any time we start poking around in our subconscious, we’re going to be pretty disturbed by what we find.

We have a saying, "the Holy Spirit is in charge of archives". If HE wants you to look at something from your past; He will bring it to light; He will give you insight into why He has caused it to surface at this time. He will make it possible to deal with it and you will scarcely have to wonder what to do because He will make each step clear. He knows exactly the right time, the right amount, the right way to process these things. When He is bringing these things to our attention, He gives us assurances of His tenderness; His mercy; His grace throughout the ordeal. He may display His care to us through pastors, counselors, friends, husbands. But when He is handling the therapy, the surgery, the rehabilitation, it will be exquisitely accomplished. Does this make sense?

It isn't that you should ignore the thoughts which plague you. It is that you should submit them to Him and ask Him to cleanse your mind and renew it. If the counsel is pointing you to CHRIST and helping you to realize that the same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you; heed such exhortation seriously to depend on God to keep you from falling and to maintain you by HIS faithfulness, not by your own strength.

We must go from thinking we need to straighten our head out to relying completely on His headship.  Therefore, since there is no condemnation for us in Christ (or for others, either, so why should we dredge up their sins), then it doesn't make us better witnesses to try to cover up, or make up for, our past. We are to live in the eternal NOW. In the present in His Presence. The past may have certain consequences in our lives. Memories may come to distress us; people may mention things which remind us; creditors may come after us... But, when those come, He is with us. He is for us. He is able to bring Himself glory even in, and especially in our weakest hours. He supplies beyond what we even know to ask. But, we are to ask. We are to submit our requests to Him and turn over our concerns to Him and trust Him to take care of us.

The reason we Christians don’t have to pay for our sins, either here or hereafter is because God's Son took the punishment for us. Because of Who He IS, His death has unlimited significance to God His Father. God the Father will never say to anyone who has come to Him under Christ's blood, "Your sin is too great; Jesus' sacrifice doesn't cover this one."

It is necessary to understand that every one of us, whether we are aware of the extent of our sin or not, has violated God's Holy standard vilely enough to deserve eternal damnation. Only because of God's undeserved favor can we be free from His condemnation.

This is hopefully all very familiar to you and you believe it through and through. If you do, then you must keep dwelling upon His Grace whenever you are reminded by circumstances, by people, by your memory, or by the Accuser of the Brethren, of what you have done, or what you have contemplated doing.

Martin Luther tells of a time when Satan accused him, listing Martin's sins and amplifying them as he accused him of them. Martin Luther waited until Satan had finished the list. Then he said in reply something like, all of what you have accused me of, I have done. But, you missed a few. Nevertheless, you have no right to accuse me. I have been acquitted of all of these things. I have been justified by what Jesus did on the cross.

I do this myself when I find myself remembering sordid deeds and thoughts from my past. I tell myself, or whoever is accusing me, "yes, indeed, I did that. And how amazing it is that while I was still sinning, God saved me."

That's how to combat the obsessive urge to go back and untangle the past. Surely you did sin. Others sinned against you. The story of the man who was forgiven much and yet held a little against another, is to remind us that we have been forgiven FAR more by God than we can ever forgive others for doing against us.

So, what are we to do with those feelings of guilt, blame, shame and fear that keep plaguing us? Let them fall from us as dead leaves off a tree. We aren't called to preserve them. Don’t press them into your mental scrapbook. Let them wither; let them dry up and blow away. Let His NEW life, which comes from Him through us, replace the old feelings with His mercy, His grace, His goodness, His kindness, His long-suffering.

Dead leaves blowing off a tree is one analogy. The Holy Spirit even does some composting of those old sins and uses them for fertilizer to grow us in grace.

Stripping off foul clothes, washing ourselves by the Word and putting on clean garments of His righteousness is another analogy. Put off the old garments. Replace complaining with praising. Replace worrying with trusting. Replace doubt with reassurances from His Word. Replace fearful thoughts with Ebenezers (memories of what HE has done to save you and sustain you thus far).

As the song says, "Here I raise mine Ebenezer, hither by THY help I've come. And I hope by THY good pleasure, safely to arrive at home." God in us, provides the right thing to put in place of that which has been cast off.

So, we see we’re not to keep digging into the past, but what about the future?

Instead of focusing on your inability focus on HIS ABILITY in you. You are afraid of your thoughts. Well, think about the men in the Bible that not only had such thoughts but actually committed murder: Moses, David, Paul. These men are best known for their close relationship with GOD. So, how did they do what they did? Well, at the time they committed these murders they were NOT walking in the Spirit. They were NOT listening to, obeying, or keeping their thoughts on God. All of them continued to be used of God, though. NOTE THAT! God did not discard them. They learned to yield their mortal members, to submit their whole lives to Him. To live their lives from Him. They still sinned. Moses struck the rock. David counted the people. Paul is a little less specific but he called himself chief of sinners. These men did not finish their lives flawlessly. Nor shall we. But, it is in the living out of our trust, reliance, and function as members of His Body that He is glorified by our continued existence on this planet. We do not glorify Him by improving ourselves. We can't make our flesh better. We can only become more and more dependent on Him to motivate us, direct us, correct us, and empower us for His purposes.

"I’m afraid to enjoy the moment for fear of the future." (I'm actually paraphrasing you on this one. The underlying reason for your obsessing is fear. God says "fear not" 365 times in the Bible! That's once a day! We are all fearful creatures, but God wants us to LEARN to trust Him and not be afraid. First, He is our refuge. It is Him who keeps us safe. We don't have the sense to come in out of the rain. If it were up to us to know where danger lies, we'd be in BIG trouble. But, God surrounds us with His protection. Everything that is good and life-giving comes from Him. He is the first cause. There can be no other source. If someone is kind to us, or generous, or loyal, or comforting, they are dispensing these gifts to us because of Him ministering to us through them. But, the kindness itself, the generosity, the faithfulness, the comfort, are FROM Him. The LORD has assigned us this particular portion of our lives. We are never unattended. Where you find yourself is where you are in His plan; you (because of His indwelling Spirit) are alive in HIM right now. He is feeding you spiritually by providing the right sort of pasture (church, His Word, His People) to meet your needs. So, what is on your plate, He put there. It is good for you. Just as a six year old is not going to be too thrilled with eggplant or okra, so are we not terribly grateful for certain things He places on our plate which are for our spiritual nurture.

I like the fact (Psalm 16 says) that even at night He counsels us. That's when the worst fears and doubts strike. But, if we will quote that verse to Him and ask Him to counsel us at that hour, He is right there and ready to do so! If we will be MINDFUL of Him we will not be shaken.

We are to enter into His Rest; that means we are to trust Him to take care of us in absolutely every detail of our lives. We should not try to protect ourselves (sheep can't protect themselves; the shepherd must do that). Our Shepherd is on the job. He has you where you may lie down and sleep without fear. He is taking care of you while you are asleep and when you awake, He provides for your needs for each day. Just as the Israelites were given only enough manna for one day (if they tried to store it up, it spoiled), so does God provide exactly what we need at each hour, for each step. He doesn't give us a full knapsack and send us off to fend for ourselves. We are not Red Riding Hood going through the woods. There are woods, yes, but, He is with us every step of the way. He is our guide, our guard, our constant faithful companion. Thank Him for every single thing you see Him doing. Cease struggling to solve problems which you can do nothing about and turn those matters over to Him. Just look at what He is doing for you right now, this moment and thank Him profusely. There is far more to thank Him for than you've realized. Realize it and rejoice. Turn your days into praise. If you will focus on Him and His sufficiency you will lose sight of your own inadequacy.

It may be very hard to imagine that certain things will be better soon, but they will be, as soon as you give them over to Him and let Him handle them, your load will be much lighter. In the reality of eternity what you are suffering is just for a brief time. It is what you learn from this suffering that matters in the long run.

What He wants you to cultivate is an attitude of gratitude, and a childlike trust in Him. Those who rely on Him like little children; those who call on Him as their Father; are well-cared for. His care for His children is never neglectful. May you perceive His Mercies to you this day.

Apart from Him, we have no identity worth worrying about. Any thoughts we have which are not of Him are insane, anyway. To the world, His ways are foolishness. So, any worldly thoughts we entertain are foolish.

The important thing to be asking Him to do for you is this: Ask Him to show you how to focus your mind on Him. Ask Him to teach you how to set your mind properly. Ask Him to cleanse your mind with His Word. Then keep reporting to Him daily for instructions about how He wants you to proceed in learning to walk in His Spirit.

Every day begins with His mercies. In fact, the Biblical way of counting days is from sunset to sunset. So, by the time you wake up in the morning, He has already been taking care of you for hours while you slept. Half the day is gone! While you were completely helpless in oblivious sleep, He has protected you and preserved your life. He has granted you the rest to rise and go forth and accomplish what He has for you to do.

Begin by thanking Him for His morning mercies to you. Let Him give you something to think about. Go to Him and ask Him to prompt you to think about what is appropriate for that day. I find that as I am walking with Him, He keeps showing me in unexpected ways, His answers to questions I've not even been able to adequately ask. I've just sort of alluded to them. He also keeps giving me illustrations, analogies, examples, from nature, from scripture, from sermons, from hymns, from conversations...We are to have an ongoing, continuous walk with Him through all the events of each day.  If you, like me, have a vivid imagination, it is to be engaged in contemplating His character; His Word; His Presence. That is the problem, we expend our thinking on things that are imaginary. HE is not imaginary, but He is invisible; His Presence is extrasensory (outside of our senses). So, our imagination is provided to focus on Him. That's what it is for. It is God-given for the purpose of enjoying our fellowship with Him.

Here are a few verses for contemplation:
2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is make perfect in weakness.

Matthew 6:34 Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Let the day's own trouble be sufficient for the day.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment and he who fears is not perfected in love.

However God chooses to give you peace with your past, peace of mind, and peace with Himself, He will do so. Continue to ask Him to direct you in this. When we are depending on Him; when we are close to Him; He will not let us stray off track. Consult Him all through the day; talk to Him about everything.

Instead of putting your mind to figuring out how you should be thinking, ask Him, LORD, give me Your perspective on this.

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